Everything is under control
Posted on 20th December 2023 at 16:17
EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL!
That would be nice wouldn’t it? Everything going just as you want it. To-do list manageable, team excelling, home-life in balance, and your relationships fulfilling you.
If we are lucky enough to experience times like that, they are often fleeting and then we are right back spinning plates and wishing we could stop time for a moment just to catch up.
If that sounds familiar, I’ve got good news and bad news for you.
Let’s start with the bad news. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again. There will never be enough time to do everything you want. We live in a world of infinite possibility and while social media bombards us with the message we should be able to do it all, be it all, and have it all, and that just isn’t the case!
There will always only be 1440 minutes in the day, and just like gold coins you can only spend them once.
But here’s the good news. When we accept that truth, it frees us to focus on what matters. And what matters is usually what we can control.
Understanding the Circles of Control and Influence
On any given day, we will be inundated by demands vying for our attention. Objectively, they may all be either valuable, interesting, important, necessary, or urgent. In an ideal world, we might want to attend to all of them. But we know time is against us, so we have to prioritise.
How?
Start with the easiest thing you can CONTROL - yourself. Your thoughts, attitude, and mindset - which govern your behaviour and actions. Areas of your life where you can directly affect matters. Exercising, taking care of your finances, nurturing your close relationships, how you show up to work – these are all things you have control over.
Outside of this inner circle of control, there is another circle of the things we can INFLUENCE. This is a broader net and might include areas where some aspects might be out of our control, but we can have an impact.
We need to be realistic about this, however. Try scoring your influence on a scale of 1-10 and any concern that scores lower than 5, let go of. Anything higher could be worth spending time on as long as we are being really honest here.
Everything else, which we can’t control or influence, we have to ACCEPT. This could be on a big scale – the state of the economy, the weather, Christmas starting earlier and earlier every year – or it could be more specific like lockdowns during a global pandemic. We don’t have to like it, but by letting go of these things, we free up energy and time to smash life on our own terms.
Where do I start?
If you are feeling overwhelmed right now, try making a list of all the things on your mind. Include everything you’re trying to juggle, mentally or physically.
Make a conscious effort to then prioritise those things on the first list. Spare capacity can go on the second list. And if you find yourself dwelling on the third list, STOP. Throw it in the ‘F**k It Bucket’.
With practice this process will get easier, I promise! And when it does, those fleeting moments of feeling in control will creep up on you more and more, until one day, you’ll find everything really is under control.
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
-DALAI LAMA
What things would this allow you to let go of? Try it out and let us know how you get on!
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